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Mom Refuses to Accept Help. Now What?

Have you noticed that Mom isn’t as independent as she used to be? Maybe she’s a little unsteady on her feet or she’s having difficulty performing some of her daily activities, such as dressing.

While it may be apparent to you that Mom needs more assistance, she may resist making a change or even refuse to accept help. The support of an assisted living community may provide just what she needs to maintain her independence and quality of life—but convincing her to accept help may not be easy.

Help Mom become more comfortable with the idea of assisted living with these ideas:

1. Talk about her options

Don’t just “spring” the idea of assisted living on your parent; instead, take your time and discuss various aspects of assisted living and how they could support her. Begin integrating the idea into your conversations, conveying that your primary interest is her health and well-being. Explain that it may be easier to move now while she’s relatively healthy and can enjoy the benefits for a longer time. Learn about the options that are available to her and talk them over together, allowing her to warm up to the idea.

2. Have information

Take time to research different assisted living communities in her area. Keep Mom’s interests in mind as you compare the options. Contact the communities and schedule an initial visit so you can identify what might appeal to your parent. With this information in hand, you can share more insights about what is available. If she’s amenable, offer to accompany her on subsequent visits so she can see first-hand what the communities are like.

3. Highlight facts

Mom may refuse assisted living because she’s holding onto an outdated perception of an “old folks’ home.” She might believe that she will lose her independence or be isolated—when in fact, just the opposite is true. To counter her worries, serve up facts about the assisted living lifestyle that you know she will enjoy, such as she’ll no longer have to maintain a big yard, but can still pursue her interest in gardening. Describe the opportunities she’ll have to participate in group activities and social settings, as well as the independence that she’ll enjoy from the community’s housekeeping or transportation services.

4. Ask around

Reach out to those you know who have a loved one living in an assisted living community—maybe the daughter of one of Mom’s friends or a coworker whose parent is happy with her community. Ask what these seniors like best about assisted living and why they chose the community they are in. If possible, arrange for Mom to meet with some current residents to increase her comfort level.

Help Mom live her best life by exploring different senior living communities together. Find the community that fits Mom’s needs and lifestyle today by contacting us.

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